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Posts Tagged ‘theif’

Here in the bargain-hunting offices of The Curmudgeon, we are fond of getting a good deal whether it’s at a Flea Market, Consignment shop, Goodwill, or Garage Sale.  Anywhere really, as long as it’s a great item and the price is right.  One such sale occurred recently where the prices were more than right. They were down right insane.  Customers thought they were getting a steal, and they were…literally.

A man had broken into the home and apparently, not satisfied with his bootie, decided to open up the garage and have a sale.  As it happens, the garage was full of expensive power tools and woodworking equipment, and over the course of several hours the scoundrel sold approximately $40,000 thousand bucks worth of stuff.  Damn, I wish I had been there. I could have used a new router.

Seems neighbors looked on and didn’t do or say anything as people walked off with the expensive stuff sold for pennies on the dollar.  “There were a lot of people who got really good deals out there,” said Staff Sgt. Doug Warn.  “We know that there are many other people out there who did purchase items at completely unrealistic low prices … there’s no doubt in my mind that these people now know that that property is now stolen property,” Warn added.

And they could be charged for possession of stolen property.  Having to return all that fine merchandise must be really tough, but think of the poor guy who saved and saved to buy all that stuff.  Power tools ain’t cheap.  But you have to hand it to the brazen criminal.  If he had of booked just a little earlier he would have been free and clear.  Twas greed that caught the cat.  Now let’s see if greed keeps people from returning the items.  If they don’t I hope they get it too.  Right is right.  And if they do return the stuff, I hope they get their money back…every penny of it.

(Information for this story came from CBC News.)A

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This is what a thong is supposed to look like.

This is what a thong is supposed to look like.

Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, the men dress well – sexy even – but none of us are wearing thong panties under our pants.  At least I don’t think so, though I do worry about that French guy, Jaques, down the hall.  No, I’m a boxer kind of guy, but I can’t speak for the rest of the staff.  That’s why I am tickled (so to speak) by men who wear women’s sexy underthingies.  Sure, it feels all soft and luxurious on your skin and gives you a raging h….um…but how would I know?  I don’t, I tell ya, I don’t, but I can imagine the silky smoothness as it gently…oh…ahem.  Anyway…

That’s why I’m chuckling today over a story on WSMV.com, because wearing women’s thong panties is one thing, but burglarizing a house wearing nothing but is something else entirely.  It got all freaky in Andersonville, Tennessee when cops arrived at a burglary in process.  The scantily clad, gender-confused burglar heard the cops arrive and jumped out a second story window.  Have you ever jumped out of a 2nd story window wearing 5 inch heels?  Hurts like hell.  Anyway, cops followed footprints from the house to an abandoned farm next door.  There they found 42 year old Larry Moore wearing the thong in question.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what motivates a guy to do this, unless the excitement of burglary had become passé , and dressing up in women’s panties had also begun to bore him.  He just wasn’t getting the thrill to which he had grown accustomed.  Then one day he said to himself, “I know!  I’ll wear a thong- I think that frilly pink number – and burglarize a house!”

I can see him now prancing around the scene of the crime while singing “I Feel Pretty.”  No word on what he was stealing.  Probably more panties because, gosh, it’s just so embarrassing to buy them at Walmart.  And heaven knows, Larry Moore wouldn’t want to be embarrassed.   Nope, ole Larry Moore of Andersonville, Tennessee was never one for embarrassment.

I don’t have anything against guys who wear panties.  I think it’s kind of funny and as I’ve always said, whatever raises your flag as long as you hurt no one and there aren’t any children involved.  But burglarizing a home ain’t right.  Somebody worked hard to afford those panties which you so cavalierly just sashay into their home and take them, Mr. Larry Moore of Andersonville, Tennessee.

A fund has been started for Larry to help him while he is in jail.

Send your used panties to Anderson County Detention Facility to help him pass the time.  Remember though, he’s jaded so make them crotchless for that extra oomph.

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