Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Internet memes’

Photo by rom on flickr

Photo by rom on flickr

Here in the secretive but not acronym-heavy offices of The Curmudgeon, we are having a good laugh over the list of the top 50 acronyms teens are using on the Internet and in text messages to keep their parents from knowing what they are talking about.  While the list has been around for a couple of years, it is only now beginning to take on a life of it’s own in a meme kind of way.  The problem is, it’s ridiculous.

The story was reported by Fox News (Oh, how it irritates me to reference Fox News) about just how absurd the list is.  Turns out, most of the terms come from sex and bondage chat rooms, or are so outdated that no one knows what they mean anymore, or just plain made up.  Of course, some of it can be useful, such as that 8 means oral sex (get it?) or that the acronym NIFOC means Naked In Front Of Computer (which I always thought meant Naked In Front Of Columbo, since I like to watch Columbo reruns while naked and visiting Internet Sex Chatrooms – but that’s another post.)

PC Magazine’s Sacha Sagan, as quoted by Fox, says, “I honestly have to say I have never seen most of these terms.  It looks like a lot of them come from online sex chat rooms, and not just any chat rooms, but sadomasochistic ones.”

“I don’t know most of this stuff,” adds Jason Parks, a 21-year-old junior at Arizona State University. “My friends and I just looked at it, and we were cracking up.”

This list was released by NetLingo.com, who still insist that parents should be aware of these terms.  Yeah.  I think parents should be aware if their kids are hanging out in sex chat rooms.  To their credit, NetLingo posted another list of the top 100 Acronyms, and this list is far more useful, both for parents, perverts, and old farts like me trying to follow what the kids are up to so I can tell you about it.  You should check out  The NetLingo List of Acronyms & Text Message Shorthand.  Print it out, study it, and keep it as a handy reference.  Of course, if you want to see the short, sex term list, you know, for a laugh, go here.

Which reminds me, I have a bone to pick with you (BTOPWY).  In my post about Glomosexuals, I asked you kindly to assist me in starting our own acronym – ROFLSCOMN (Rolling On Floor Laughing Shooting Cola Out My Nose.)  But kids, the acronym hasn’t taken off yet, which means you aren’t trying.  I want you to use it every time you are tempted to write LOL or ROFL.  Use it off-handedly, as though everyone knows what that means.  They will ask you, you will tell them, and then they will use it, and their friends will use it, and before you know it, it will be a thing, and we will have started it.

Notice I have not linked to my Glomosexual hub.  I don’t want you to read it.  You’re not old enough or it’s too nasty for you.  So I’m not linking it.  Of course, you could enter the term Glomosexual into the search box and find it that way, but you didn’t think of that.  Or you could just scroll down a few stories and there it is, but you don’t know that.  No.  Take my word for it, you are better off blissfully ignorant of Glomosexuals.

Just a brief wrap-up:  Many kids will have acronyms that they have made up and are only known to them and their group.  No list in the world is going to tell you what those mean.  You’ll have to interrogate the little buggars (ITLB).

(Photo Credit, Computer Mice, by [rom],  flickr)

Read Full Post »

dog heaven

Here in the Curmudgeon offices, seekers but not preachers, we are as susceptible to those email jokes that go round and round and on their “routerly way,” and I can say that some are funnier than others.  The one about the “Church Sign” debate on whether or not dogs went to heaven, to whether or not dogs have souls, was at least highly amusing, if not slap-your-thigh-spit-up-your-soda funny.  The Catholic church says yes while the Presbyterians say no.  I say to them, “have you ever had a dog?”

The humorous drama played out in a series of “church signs.”
Dogs 1Dogs 2Dogs 3

Dogs don't have souls, this is not open for debate.

Dogs 5Dogs 6Dogs 7Dogs 8Dogs 9

A fairly funny theological battle of the religious wits (or nit wits.)  Since our research department has been out of the office for….oh…4 months now, I am reduced to doing the research, which means research is flawed. That is to say, the research sucks.  But here is what I did:  I first looked up “Cumberland Presbyterian Church” and learned that Cumberland is a kind of Presbyterian church and there are many buildings across the country that are called this.  So too are there several “Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic” churches.”  I was unable to prove if two of these existed in the same southern town.

So then I studied the pictures.  Each picture is the exact same angle with the exact same shadows.  Quite simply…impossible.  They are fake.  One picture of each church sign was photographed and the letters added later, probably with a simple “Church Sign Generator” on the Internet.  So why write this?  Because I did all this crappy research and I gotta use it somewhere.  Plus, I think it is worthwhile to discuss whether or not dogs have souls and go to heaven.  Another interesting question is why we find this sort of bickering amongst churches so likely?

Of course they do.  They smile.  They save your life.  If you were to die in your home and not be discovered right away, your dog would guard you.  Conversely, your cat will eat you, ergo, cats do not have souls or go to heaven.  (Just kidding.  Cats do have souls, their’s are just dirty, rotten souls.)

But you don’t have to take my word for it.

During an interview for the Denver Post, animal behaviorist Marc Bekoff, professor emeritus at the University of Colorado, Boulder, said  “If we have souls, our animals have souls. If we have free choice, they have it,” Bekoff said. “If we can’t know this for sure, let’s give them the benefit of a doubt.”

I may be a Curmudgeon emeritus, but that guy is a professor emeritus.  I’ll take his word for it, not that I need to.  Like I said, if you’ve ever had a dog, you know.

Besides, dog spelled backwards is God.

Read Full Post »

"Dancing Man" quinn.anya/flickr

"Dancing Man" quinn.anya/flickr

It’s a different kind of day here in The Curmudgeon Offices, as, for a change, we are reporting on a happy story.  That’s instead of my normal negativity and cynical observations and thinly veiled sexual references.  Today, we are celebrating The Dancing Man.  First we walked the walk, then talked the talk, and now we are dancing the dance.  And it is a delightful, goofy dance.

Do you know about The Dancing Man?  It’s a guy named Matt Harding, who, in his own words, “used to think that all he ever wanted to do in life was make and play video games.”  Growing bored with that, he quit his job and went to Asia to wander around until his carefully saved funds wore out.  After a few months in Asia, his travel buddy asked him to do that silly dance that he often did while the friend taped it.  They made a little video of it and posted it on youtube.

The video sat on youtube for a couple of years until someone stumbled on it, thought it was funny and passed it around.  Those people passed it around to more people who passed it around until someone at Stride gum saw it and went to Matt with a proposition.  “Why don’t you let us sponsor your next trip as you dance around the world?”  No reason, no reason at all, and now the gum people have paid for a couple of his trips where he tapes himself doing the goofy dance along with the locals.

It’s odd.  It’s such a simple thing that seems to say so much about culture, friendship (or not), and brotherhood among nations that it takes on both a joyous and bittersweet feeling.  There is just something about seeing this guy dancing his spastic dance at breathtaking locations around the world with the locals joining in with their imitations of the goofy Matt dance, that we have to sit back and ask ourselves, “how much do we really know about our world neighbors?.  It will make you smile, laugh, and feel a little unexplainable sadness.

Take a look at it.  It is short and captivating.  I called a full-staff meeting this morning and showed everyone the video, and then I did the dance for them.  They loved it of course, to see the big boss being so silly, but they wanted to do the dance too.  And they did.  Everyone has been smiling around here all day, and I think we may have gotten more accomplished than ever before.  People spasmodically dancing up and down the halls, from office to office, and even in the meeting with the Chamber of Commerce.  Everyone was dancing.  They are dancing still.

For more information on where the hell is Matt, visit his website here.

My writer friend Denny Lyon has published a great article about this sort of thing.  There’s lots of great videos, and you simply have to check the “‘Freeze” at Grand Central, where hundreds of people freeze simultaneously for 3 minutes, and especially the big choreographed dance at Liverpool station with a cast of hundreds.  Fabulous!  Check it out here!

Read Full Post »

depravity-music2As I sit here in the lemony fresh offices of The Curmudgeon (the cleaning lady was in today) I am dejected but not morose.   As you know, I have been writing about Internet memes lately, and a few days ago I came across the most horrible, disgusting, depressing, most likely to “cause you to weep for the state of the human race” Internet meme ever.   I knew this stuff existed, but I never thought I’d be writing about it, and frankly, it depresses me.

I am speaking of 2 Girls and 1 Cup.  It became a meme, and then a rash of reaction video’s were made of people reacting to the video, mainly Grandma’s for chrissake, and those videos became a meme by themselves.  If I was going to write about it, I should watch it, yes?  Although the site on which I read about it did not post the video or a link to it, it wasn’t hard to find, thanks to our quirky and contradictory friends over at Google.  So I googled it, went to a site where the video was posted, and after reading the description of what I was about to see, refused to watch it.  Wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t.

But then it ate at me.  It niggled.  Was I not a newsman?  Ever since I was left as a foundling on the steps of Hearst Castle in San Simeon, taken in by the great man himself, and raised by a succession of French, British and Swiss Nannies, which is probably why I have a thing for foreign chicks and their accents, I have lived, eaten and breathed newsman.  In a pinch, a southern, Boston or New York accent will do.  Rosebud or no, Papa, or Big Willie as he liked to be called, raised me to be a newsman.  I would watch the video, damn it!  Though it make me sick, I will watch and report.

As it turns out, the video can no longer be seen, the government getting in on the act with enough force that everyone disabled the video.  Oh, you might be able to find it somewhere, deep in the bowels (pun intended) of the cesspool, but for once, I agreed with the government, and I haven’t even seen it.  Wow.  An example of good censorship.  The first amendment and freedom of speech doesn’t apply, at least not for me, normally a militant  advocate.  Who’d a thunk it?

Likewise, I have aggravated over whether to even describe what is contained in said video.  I will try to do it in a non-offensive way, but alas, I don’t think that’s possible.  I’ll try to be obtuse.  Still, you may not want to read it if you are of delicate mind or sensibilities, or are about to eat.

Ok.  Remember that everything is explicit and nothing is left to the imagination.  It starts with 2 girls and 1 cup.  One of the girls poo-poos into the cup.  Then the girls do things with it that we normally associate with love making, like kissing.  They get sick, but they don’t stop, instead using this new effluent as well.  Why did I decide I must watch it?  Because I wanted  to look into their eyes.  I hoped that by doing so I could answer one question:

Why?

Oh God why, why why?  Were they being forced?  Were they so desperate for money that they would engage in this behavior for a little cash?  Were they sickly drug addicts who needed a fix so bad that they would do the most disgusting thing that could be conjured by a diseased mind?  Please, somebody clean these girls up, give them some toothpaste and fix their heads.  As my regular readers know, I am not, inherently, against pornography.  But this?  It’s not really even porn, and yet it is, because there are people who “get off” on watching stuff like this.  Which brings me to the next question.

Why did so many people view this horrid thing that it became a meme in the first place?  Is it just because it is so disgusting that it became popular simply as something to show to unwitting people to catch their reactions on video, many of whom throw up themselves?  When birds regurgitate into their offspring’s mouths to provide them nourishment, that is nature.  This is not nature, but a gross perversion of it.

I have included one of the more popular reaction video, but why someone would do that to their grandmother is beyond me as well.  It can give you an idea of what watching it might be like, and it is pretty funny even without having seen the actual video.

To sum it up in one word:  “Depravity.”  That’s what it is…depravity.

2 Girls 1 Cup Reaction Video – Grandma Marlene

Read Full Post »

The Accidental Tourist.  The photo that started it all.

The Accidental Tourist. The photo that started it all.

Here in the animated but not photoshopped offices of Curmudgeon, I have been checking up on past and current Internet memes.  For those that don’t know, a meme (pronounced meem) is something – a saying, an image, a recording, whatever – that catches people’s fancy and spreads like a virus, in this case on the Internet, which is what makes it an Internet meme.

At the Concorde crash.

At the Concorde crash.

So I came across the info that The 911 Tourist Guy’s real name is now known to the masses.  I’m not sure where I was when this information came out.  It was probably when I was living in a beach house on the native side of Freeport, Bahamas, fishing from my boat and drinking at the Conch Cafe, right on the ocean, no walls, wicker ceiling fans, the works, a place Hemingway would have loved.  Anyway, the start of  The Tourist Guy meme was that picture you see right up top, a man, supposedly a tourist, snapped atop the World Trade Center seconds before the plane hit.

It was sent around by email with this touching note:

“Fw: Different Perspective on the New York Tragedy

At the Hindenberg

At the Hindenberg

Attached is a picture that was taken of a tourist atop the World Trade Center Tower, the first to be struck by a terrorist attack. This camera was found but the subject in the picture had not yet been located.

Makes you see things from a very different position. Please share this and find any way you can to help Americans not to be victims in the future of such cowardly attacks.”

Almost immediately, Snopes pronounced the whole thing an Internet hoax while the Internet pronounced it funny.  So the clones began, many of which are posted here and some of which are actually funny and clever.

It has long been our way – us humans that is, I can’t speak for you – to cope with tragedy by making  jokes, and these are no different.  People need to laugh after something like that.  Laughter is a great medicine.  Laughter cures hurt.

At the Titanic.

At the Titanic.

It wasn’t long before the first poseur stepped forward.  He had no evidence.  Couldn’t produce the original photo.  He was pronounced a fraud by whoever pronounces these people frauds.  Soon after, another man was fingered by his friends, and he had the evidence.  He was a  Hungarian named Peter (last name withheld.)   He didn’t want people to misunderstand him, he said.  Didn’t  know it would become so popular, he said.   Didn’t know he would obtain Internet infamy, he said.

At last it can be told:  His name is Peter Guzli, a 25 year old guy living in Hungary, still trying to cope with his unexpected fame.  How’s that infamy thing going for you, Peter?

Next time, I’m going to write about the disgusting meme, Two Girls and a Cup.  YOU DON’T WANT TO READ IT!

At Godzilla's rampage.

At Godzilla's rampage.

At the assassination of John. F. Kennedy.

At the assassination of John. F. Kennedy.

At the blowing up of the White House - Independence Day.

At the blowing up of the White House - Independence Day.

At the assassination of Lincoln.

At the assassination of Lincoln.

At the eruption of Mount St. Helens

At the eruption of Mount St. Helens

Read Full Post »