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Posts Tagged ‘handguns’

butt_face

Here in the well-defended offices of The Curmudgeon (we have an alarm system you know, not to mention a few boobie traps) we are mixed on the issue of citizens owning handguns.  I think the waiting period is a good idea, after all, if you have a legitimate need for a firearm, then what’s your hurry?  “But Crusty,” you say, “criminals aren’t getting their handguns legitimately anyway, so it doesn’t deter them.”  Um…okay…you’re making my head hurt.  Let’s just put it this way: no one should be allowed to own a handgun…unless it’s me.  After all, guns don’t kill people.  People with guns kill people.  But seriously, I don’t have a problem with it.  I just think there should be rules.

The handgun debate is really not at issue here, except that they sometimes fall into the wrong hands and sometimes accidents happen.  And sometimes people are stupid.  All three are true for a Fort Meyers man who accidentally shot himself in the tucas, as reported on news-press.com.  Timothy Allen Davis, 22 years old and so much to learn, told the cops that when pulling a shirt from his drawer, his .380 semiautomatic handgun flipped in the air, landed and fired, hitting him in his caboose.  It reminded me of the Three Stooges.  Whenever Mo got shot in the butt, he ran around yelling, “I’m losing my mind!”

He didn’t even know he’d been hit, but when he went to tell his sister everything was fine and dandy, she noticed blood coming from his pants in the rear.  Let me tell you, if you ever have blood coming from your ass you’d better hope it’s from a bullet.

When asked for a statement, the gun said, “It was self-defense!”

Darwin is rolling over in his grave, convinced now his “survival of the fittest” theory is wrong…all wrong!”  I am against this increasing interloping by the government.  I suppose the bottom (pun intended) line is, I do believe in preserving our rights and the rights of man.

Let us never take away the right of man to shoot himself in the ass.

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