Posts Tagged ‘Freedom of speech’

depravity-music2As I sit here in the lemony fresh offices of The Curmudgeon (the cleaning lady was in today) I am dejected but not morose.   As you know, I have been writing about Internet memes lately, and a few days ago I came across the most horrible, disgusting, depressing, most likely to “cause you to weep for the state of the human race” Internet meme ever.   I knew this stuff existed, but I never thought I’d be writing about it, and frankly, it depresses me.

I am speaking of 2 Girls and 1 Cup.  It became a meme, and then a rash of reaction video’s were made of people reacting to the video, mainly Grandma’s for chrissake, and those videos became a meme by themselves.  If I was going to write about it, I should watch it, yes?  Although the site on which I read about it did not post the video or a link to it, it wasn’t hard to find, thanks to our quirky and contradictory friends over at Google.  So I googled it, went to a site where the video was posted, and after reading the description of what I was about to see, refused to watch it.  Wouldn’t, couldn’t, didn’t.

But then it ate at me.  It niggled.  Was I not a newsman?  Ever since I was left as a foundling on the steps of Hearst Castle in San Simeon, taken in by the great man himself, and raised by a succession of French, British and Swiss Nannies, which is probably why I have a thing for foreign chicks and their accents, I have lived, eaten and breathed newsman.  In a pinch, a southern, Boston or New York accent will do.  Rosebud or no, Papa, or Big Willie as he liked to be called, raised me to be a newsman.  I would watch the video, damn it!  Though it make me sick, I will watch and report.

As it turns out, the video can no longer be seen, the government getting in on the act with enough force that everyone disabled the video.  Oh, you might be able to find it somewhere, deep in the bowels (pun intended) of the cesspool, but for once, I agreed with the government, and I haven’t even seen it.  Wow.  An example of good censorship.  The first amendment and freedom of speech doesn’t apply, at least not for me, normally a militant  advocate.  Who’d a thunk it?

Likewise, I have aggravated over whether to even describe what is contained in said video.  I will try to do it in a non-offensive way, but alas, I don’t think that’s possible.  I’ll try to be obtuse.  Still, you may not want to read it if you are of delicate mind or sensibilities, or are about to eat.

Ok.  Remember that everything is explicit and nothing is left to the imagination.  It starts with 2 girls and 1 cup.  One of the girls poo-poos into the cup.  Then the girls do things with it that we normally associate with love making, like kissing.  They get sick, but they don’t stop, instead using this new effluent as well.  Why did I decide I must watch it?  Because I wanted  to look into their eyes.  I hoped that by doing so I could answer one question:


Oh God why, why why?  Were they being forced?  Were they so desperate for money that they would engage in this behavior for a little cash?  Were they sickly drug addicts who needed a fix so bad that they would do the most disgusting thing that could be conjured by a diseased mind?  Please, somebody clean these girls up, give them some toothpaste and fix their heads.  As my regular readers know, I am not, inherently, against pornography.  But this?  It’s not really even porn, and yet it is, because there are people who “get off” on watching stuff like this.  Which brings me to the next question.

Why did so many people view this horrid thing that it became a meme in the first place?  Is it just because it is so disgusting that it became popular simply as something to show to unwitting people to catch their reactions on video, many of whom throw up themselves?  When birds regurgitate into their offspring’s mouths to provide them nourishment, that is nature.  This is not nature, but a gross perversion of it.

I have included one of the more popular reaction video, but why someone would do that to their grandmother is beyond me as well.  It can give you an idea of what watching it might be like, and it is pretty funny even without having seen the actual video.

To sum it up in one word:  “Depravity.”  That’s what it is…depravity.

2 Girls 1 Cup Reaction Video – Grandma Marlene

Read Full Post »

Boxxy art in a gallery

Boxxy art in a gallery

Here at the opinionated but not acidulous Curmudgeon, we are Internet-savvy in all things Internet. At least I thought so, but I am apparently not, at least not to the professorial degree I thought I was. Perhaps someone on my staff should have filled me in on a couple of things.   I would think that at least the Sexy Nerd Girls down the hall would have told me about this stuff, something other than the poop on the new horn-rimmed glasses.

Let me throw a few words out there for your consideration: Meme. Boxxy. an hero.  I have just learned about these things.   Imagine my embarrassment.  Or don’t. Anyway, what I learned has disturbed the hell out of me.   Most of my new found knowledge comes from fellow HubPages writer Freezepopmorality, and you should click on his link at the bottom of this post for more info than I’m going into here, but we’ll start with the meme “an hero,” with a direct quote from my new acquaintance, Mr. Freezepop, who gave me permission to shamelessly steal from him:

“The an hero meme got its start when a young seventh grader from Minnesota, Mitchell Henderson shot himself for (allegedly) losing his ipod.  Some say bullying was a factor, but when the internet found out Mitchell had lost his ipod earlier, they latched onto this as the reason and began to make fun of him for it.  The situation was exasperated when friends and family left heartwarming, yet terribly misspelled messages on Mitchell’s myspace.  One person famously saying Mitchell was ‘such an hero, to take it all away.  We miss him so, That you should know, And we honor him this day.  He was an hero, to take that shot, to leave us all behind.’  It was from this that the an hero meme began spreading around internet messageboards.” (Don’t let your child become an hero, Freezepopmorality.)

But it didn’t stop there.   They found out where his parents lived and harassed them. People called them claiming to have found an iPod.  One heartless jerk off took a picture of an iPod on the kid’s tombstone and sent it to the parents.  This behavior is, to me, unbelievably heartless and cruel.  Criminal, in fact.

Which brings me to Boxxy, also written about by Mr. Freezepop.   Boxxy became an

Boxxy. Gone but not forgotten.

Boxxy. Gone but not forgotten.

overnight sensation, by accident, you might say.   Suddenly she was everywhere on the Internet.  People either loved her or hated her.  Personally, I think she’s as cute as a button.   But as usual, the people who hated her got up to their usual criminal mischief.  They wanted her to go away and they formed the CBRC (Center for Boxxy Restriction and Control).  Then they hacked into her youtube account and got everything they needed, made a video threatening her with the release of her personal information and sent it to her, saying the information would be released unless she quit making videos and disappeared.

Boxxy obliged.  But the information did get out.   The CBRC denies it released the info, like I believe those malformed morons.  There are now rumors that Boxxy is being harrassed and possibly even being stalked by several REAL people, not virtual people.  Boxxy ain’t coming back.   The CBRC can deny all they want, but they are responsible for anything that happens to her just the same.   The things is, they won’t care.   They’ll laugh.  They’ll think themselves cute.

My account is over-simplified, of course.  Again, follow the link below for more info. Seems to me this behavior, both “an hero” and Boxxy, goes beyond the normal cruelty of boys.   This is cruel beyond pulling the wings off of flies.   This behavoir is in the realm of Dahmer as a boy, devising new ways to kill animals and then eventually people, boiling their flesh off with acid.  It is hate-filled, venom-spit.  I can picture them admiring their photo of an iPod on the teenager’s tombstone, patting each other on the back for their cleverness. It is not funny, clever, creative, or anything remotely redeemable.   It makes my blood boil and saddens me.

To a lesser degree, it’s the same with Boxxy.   What business is it of these people who hate (why all the hatin’?) things to decide what should be on the Internet and what should not?  It’s reminiscent of early societies and land control and domination. They think the Internet is for their benefit, that they own it,  and that they are the abiters of what is allowed to become popular (in Boxxy’s case) and what or what is not allowed as normal behavior.

To them I say, you do not decide what pop culture is. You do not decide what should be popular. The Internet was not meant for you and you do not own it. In fact, you are exactly who the Internet is NOT meant for.  Why don’t you get your bedsore ass off the internet and read a book?  You are not qualified to judge a turd.  You are “an moron.”

Ok, rants over. I did promise “other” horror stories.   Here’s one.   People think lolcats is funny.  Now that’s scary.

To read Freezepopmorality’s work on the subject, go to Don’t let your child become an hero.  Be sure to check out his other meme articles, The Rise and Fall of Boxxy, and Milhouse is Not a Meme is Not a Meme.   Even his lolcats if you insist, and Sexy Nerd Girls is worth a look. A long look.  But if you’re gonna do what I think you’re gonna do, beware the ceiling cat.  He’ll be watching.

Read Full Post »


Or is that “watch your fingers?” Nothing scares us around the offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon more than news of “the man” cracking down on the freedom of speech on the Internet. Not that we have ever disparaged anybody. Well, OK, a few celebrities, but they’re famous and they asked for it. But, you never know when we might want to lay into the car repair guy down the street or that rude checkout chick at the grocery, Yolanda, I think her name is– what a cretin bitch!–which is why we’re all a little twitchy today.

Cyber-bullying they called it. Just the other day, the woman from the “MySpace Cyber-bully Case” was only convicted on three counts of the lesser offense of accessing a computer without authorization on account of of she violated the MySpace Terms of Service. It’s a sad, sad thing that happened to that girl, but I don’t know if the mother is responsible for her death any more than J.D. Salinger is responsible for the death of John Lennon (Mark David Chapman had a copy of the book Catcher In the Rye in his back pocket at the time of the shooting).

Now comes this: In Colorado, A man has been charged with criminal libel for making unflattering comments about his former lover and her attorney. Seems he “suggested” she was trading sex for legal services. Normally, libel is a civil case, but Colorado has an antiquated 1800’s era statute that allows prosecution for speech “tending to blacken the memory of one who is dead” or to “expose the natural defects of one who is alive, and thereby to expose him to public hatred, contempt or ridicule.” Holy tort! It doesn’t even matter if what you say is true or even if the person is dead. They can still get you. She could have really been boinking for briefs and IT DOESN’T MATTER. Criminal libel carries a punishment of up to 18 months in prison just for shooting your mouth off. Now you know why we’re all twitchy around here.

Steve Zansberg, a Denver attorney specializing in first amendment law, said prosecutors seeking criminal libel cases could have a “chilling” effect on free speech in Colorado, particularly over the Internet.

It could be you (I saw what you wrote last summer). Do you know what outdated, moronic statutes are buried deep in the books where you live, just waiting for an over-zealous cop or an ambitious (and I mean that in the Shakespearean sense) prosecutor to come along and start swinging their dicks? So beware, my friends. You’d better keep you fingers shut. Even the dead can get you. Damn zombies!

The Shameless Self-Promotion Section

Which got me wondering about other trouble I could get into. I recently wrote a satirical piece about growing penicillin in your refrigerator and using it to cure yourself and your children of illnesses. Because of the way I had worked references and links into the piece, it had an air of authority in spite of it’s absurdity, even concluding that you could sell your homegrown penicillin on the black market. Some intelligent people thought that some of it was the truth, and then the inevitable question of what if some kid read it, thought it was true, and ate a big hand-full of mold? Could I be held liable if he got really sick or died? It was enough of a fear that I added a disclaimer, which is pretty damn hysterical all by itself. If you’d like to read it go to Make Home Grown Penicillin: Don’t Clean Out That Refrigerator. It’s funny.

Read Full Post »