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Posts Tagged ‘England’

Here in the athletic offices of The Curmudgeon, many of the office staff are engaged in sports.  It is unlikely that anyone is good enough to compete professionally, including yours truly, Crusty.  But now an event comes in which even I might compete.

The event takes place in Swaton England.   This is the sixth time the event has taken place and includes athletes from many countries, meticulously trained, of incredible strength and agility, their bodies fine-honed to perfection, the very essence of superhuman musculature, intelligence, and virility.  England and Germany are expected to draw the most attention, their fierce rivalry stretching back to World War II.  The competition?  Egg throwing.  That’s right.  Tossing the little white orbs that come from chickens and taste delicious.

Other teams represent the Dutch, Americans, and Welsh persons.  The most extreme competition involve a medieval siege machine resembling a catapult called a trebechet.  Teams launch their eggs at a human target 390ft (120m) away at speeds of 100mph (161kph).  The human target is himself an accomplished athlete, superior to other humans, Joel Hicks, the world gravy wrestling champion.  He won his title in Lancashire by overcoming his opponent in a 200-litre vat of chicken gravy.

  • The egg throwing event involves a two-person team throwing a raw egg between them as far as possible without breaking it.
  • The static egg relay involves 11-person teams passing a dozen raw eggs from person to person along a 100m route.
  • The egg target throwing event involves a human target and points are awarded for distance and accuracy.
  • The eggs shot from the trebuchet can travel at speeds of 100mph (161kph) and points are awarded for hitting a human target.

Safety is taken very seriously.  Competitors wear eye protection and an orange cape.  It’s not all just serious competition.  Proceeds go to Leukemia Research, Lincolnshire Air Ambulance and other charities.

(Some information for this story came from BBC news.)

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Graffiti in Barcelona Spain

Graffiti in Barcelona Spain

Here in the well-adorned offices of the Curmudgeon, I would let a staff member paint a mural on the wall, but I hardly think I’d just give everyone some cans of spray paint and graffiti lessons.  Yet, that is just what the town of Crawley England is doing.  They’ve announced a class for children aged 8 and up to improve their graffiti skills, and all this in a town that spends $66,700 every year to clean up the graffiti.

The course wont only teach the little Picasso’s how to express themselves with graffiti, but in theory at least, will also teach them about the responsible uses of paint.  As reported by UPI, the kids will practice on canvas, and Liz Hart – the organizer of the class – tells the worried town that “Those who take part would not consider going out to tag a bus stop, wall or whatever.”  But isn’t that what you’re teaching them to do?  Graffiti?  And isn’t graffiti normally spray painted on walls, bridges, and trains?

The townsfolk have noticed this discrepancy as well, to which Hart says, “I can understand some residents may be worried. But I can assure them the young people will be told the difference between vandalism and graffiti as an art form,”   Hey, I have to admit that I’ve seen some graffiti that would knock the paintbrush out of your hand, but most of it is crap.  Who’s going to decide which kids produce art and others produce glop.  I guarantee that a good number of those kids are going to be producing the aforementioned glop, but will think they’re Jackson Pollack (who, come to think of it, did produce glop.)

The town of Crawley has been the victim of random outbreaks of racist graffiti, which is hardly desirable, art or no..  Who can blame them for being skeptical?

“Once armed with a spray can and the tricks of the trade, these kids won’t just do it in the classroom. They will want to do it everywhere to get their tag known,” said one resident who asked not to be named. “What next? How to break into cars?”

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