Here in the top secret offices of The Curmudgeon, we are constantly on the lookout for spies. I am particularly suspicious of bugs, expecting them to be little robotic creatures equipped with cameras and recording equipment. This is just the type of corporate espionage some of our competitors would engage in, such as the site All Stupid Things and Important Stuff Ignored. Naturally, countries are known for spying on another, for example, Pakistan and India.
To support this accusation, India has arrested a spy from Pakistan. Or so they say. The spy is being held under armed guard. No one is allowed to visit the prisoner, being held in an air-conditioned room (bloody nice of them – with the heat in India and all), and probably kept in a cell. More like a cage, really. Appropriate, because the spy is a pigeon.
The pigeon was found by a local resident with a ring around it’s foot and a Pakistani phone number and address stamped on his body. The Pigeon carried a message, though no note has been found. Local pigeon fanciers said that Pakistani pigeons are easily identifiable as they look different from Indian ones. Maybe the pigeon speaks Urdu instead of Hindi. In any case, senior officers are taking it seriously and have ordered they be updated 3 times a day. So far, the updates say, “Pigeon still won’t talk. Just that incessant cooing.”
What I can’t comprehend is how the pigeon could go back to Pakistan and report his findings? Unless, of course another spy – a human one – would tie another message to it to be delivered. But that’s ridiculous. India is a free society, with cell phones and the Internet and everything. Surely there are better ways to communicate with Pakistan?
I’ll say this though. Things are getting desperate when a country uses carrier pigeons for spying. I thought that went out with World War II. But it’s not so strange to think about spying Pigeons. Iran arrested two pigeons they said were spying on a nuclear facility just in October, 2008. We all know how logical and sensible Iran is. Naturally, they accused the United States, and believe the bands around the pigeons feet are actually communication devices. Ah ha! Now we’re getting somewhere. Although they can’t figure out how they work, Iran is sure the bands somehow communicate with the U.S. Sound familiar?
Very close to robotic spying bugs. Stranger things have happened.
(Some information for this story came from Breitbart.com and the London Daily Mail.)