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Posts Tagged ‘animal cruelty’

The Amityville House on which the book, then the movie was based.

Here in the impetuous offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, we are often shooting off of figurative mouths about the latest PETA absurdity, with this caveat: we are pro-animal rights.  I do not want any more forests to be taken for wood, or the rainforest clear-cut so someone can try to grow potatoes, or any species should face extinction, etcetera, etcetera, but PETA is beyond the bounds of crazy behavior.

Much have I written about them, including their Florida billboards with pictures of fat humans and the slogan, “SAVE THE WHALES; Lose the Blubber – Go Vegetarian.”  Or their recent outrage over a destructive squirrel who was caught in a trap on a home’s roof and spent a little too long in the hot sun, or their supposed outrage over Puxatawney Phil, the famous shadow seeing ground hog. They thought Phil was abused performing for the cameras like that, and suggested an animatronic groundhog instead.

Now they’re at it again.  This time, they want to lease the Amityville house of horror (Currently up for sale for 1.15 million).  They want to turn it into a meat-eaters house of horror.  PETA vice-president Tracy Reiman wrote to the present owners, “In our horror house, the sound of slaughterhouse blades whirring while animals scream for their lives would play over loudspeakers.” And the letter went on: “Visitors would be able to see animatronic hens struggling for space inside tiny battery cages and lifelike “fish” gasping for air as they slowly suffocate on the deck of a fishing boat.”

You didn’t think the wackos would stop there, did you?  Oh no, not by a long shot.  Visitors would be subjected, er…treated to a smorgasbord of tasty visual delights, like branding irons and an electrified cow prod and the opportunity to be locked in a small pig crate.  And don’t leave without a special souvenir.  I suggest a doll that resembles a crazed,  knife-wielding Ronald MacDonald.  No kidding.

And you can’t leave without dining in the zero star Cruelty-Free Cafe, featuring delicious, mouth watering vegan food, such as protein-packed mock chicken and faux ribs.  See the irony of that?  Their so-called delicious food tries to resemble meat.  Why not just serve the vegetables instead of trying to pass it off as meat? Is it because meat is delicious and that’s what people like to eat?

Sounds like a lovely afternoon, and I’m booking my tickets as soon as it’s official.  My main beef is I love me some meat.  Steaks, chops, chicken, ribs, and fish, broiled, smoked, braised, baked, grilled, and roasted.  Don’t get in my way, PETA, I’m warning you.  I’ll mess you up, because your game is easy to play.
Of course, the neighbors are thrilled with the prospect of PETA moving into the home, which is best summed up by a neighbor way back in 1999, when he told the N.Y. Daily News that the movie “…screwed up the whole neighborhood.”  Well, just wait until PETA moves in.

Talk about screwed up.

(Information for this story came from the N.Y.Daily News.)

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Photo by limowreck666 on flickr

Here in The Crusty Curmudgeon World Headquarters we are very animal rights conscious.  That is not to say we are PETA-like, with insane tendencies, but concerned about wildlife just the same.  I don’t know how I feel about zoos.  Many will argue that zoos are the only way to guarantee a species survives.  The truth is, the wild sucks too, thanks to man, who cuts it down, pollutes it, and kills its inhabitants.  Either way, man is to blame.  Which brings me to killer whales in captivity and the tragic death of a trainer this week.

Killed was Dawn Brancheau, 40, whale trainer at Sea World in Orlando.  The attack was in front of a large audience, and by all accounts, was horrible and dramatic.

One witness, Victoria Biniak, said she saw the whole thing from the audience area.

“The trainer was explaining different things about the whale and then the trainer that was down there walked away from the window. Then Telly (the whale) took off really fast in the tank and he came back, shot up in the air, grabbed the trainer by the waist and started thrashing (her) around. He was thrashing her around pretty good. It was violent.”  She went on to say it was violent enough to cause the trainer’s shoe to fly off.

Apparantly the whale, named Tilikum, or Telly for short, doesn’t usually have a trainer in its tank because it is too large, being a 30-year old, 12,000 pound bull orca.

Nancy Black, a whale expert—you know the type—said the whale incident may have been an accident and the whale only playing.  “They are very intelligent creatures. They have emotions, and feelings. Maybe it was unhappy in the situation, maybe it was bored,” Black said.

Yeah…or maybe it was a KILLER WHALE.

It’s not like Telly, or Tilikum (remember that name),  hadn’t shown a propensity for violence previously.

In 1991, a trainer at Sealand of the Pacific in Victoria, British Columbia, was killed. Three whales were blamed for the killing.  One was Tilikum.

In 1999, a South Carolina man somehow got into a whale tank at SeaWorld Orlando after park hours and drowned. He was found with bite marks below the waste.  A forensic investigation found the bite was administered by Tilikum.

Also in 1999, a man’s body was found mysteriously draped over a killer whale’s body.  The whale? Tilikum.  An autopsy ruled that he died of hypothermia, but authorities said it appeared Tilikum bit the man and tore off his swimming trunks.

Notice how people keep mysteriously winding up in Tilikum’s tank?  I think he gets out of the tank and goes to get them.  I’m not a fancy animal trainer, and I’m no Whale Whisperer, but it seems to me Tilikum doesn’t like living in captivity.

And what about that name?  Tilikum?

Just rearrange the letters a bit.

Ti-kil-im.

(This story was first reported by Internet Broadcasting Systems and ClickOrlando.com, to which The Associated Press also contributed.)

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Phil being petted by females. I wonder if PETA would let me have Phil's job?

Here in the affable offices of The Curmudgeon, we enjoy an amusing anecdote, a charming custom, and all things homespun.  We are in fact, highly agreeable co-workers – as far as co-workers go – and yet there are some employees I would like to change for animatronics, since they appear to be slightly mechanical anyway.  I think PETA would agree with me, probably because of the cruelty and suffering I force upon them, like actually working for their pay.

In fact, PETA has many things they would like to substitute animatronics for, but this time they’ve really gone off their rocker.  Gemma Vaughn, PETA’s Animal Entertainment Specialist, fired off a letter to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club asking them to retire the two groundhogs, Punxsutawney Phil and his understudy, Staten Island Chuck, and replace them with animatronics.  Oh, PETA, now you’ve gone too far.  I would love to be in a PETA staff meeting:  “Who should we go after now?”  “I know.  Ant farms!”

In their own words, PETA said the treatment of the groundhogs was “cruel,”  and pointed out that Phil was “forced to be on display year round at the local library and is denied the ability to prepare for and enter yearly hibernation.”  Um…yeah, but they don’t have to hibernate, instead living in forced opulence and comfort.  PETA added that “Tradition is no excuse for cruelty.”  Yeah.  I’ll think about that the next time I have to go to a wedding.

Not accustomed to dealing with controversy, Punxsutawney Groundhog Club called the request “crazy,” and blundered the following statement:  “Phil is probably treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.  He’s got air conditioning in the summer, his pen is heated in winter … He has everything but a TV in there. What more do you want?”  Holy Moley!  Are you saying the average child in Pennsylvania doesn’t have air conditioning, heat, or perhaps the biggest cruelty of all, television?  Okay, I’m sure he didn’t mean that.  They at least have television, right?

But perhaps the groundhogs agree with PETA.   Last year, Phil made several escape attempts from his home at the Punxsutawney Library, and Staten Island Chuck bit N.Y. Mayor Michael Bloomberg during a Groundhog Day celebration.  Bloomberg wasn’t hurt, but he did refer to Chuck as a terrorist rodent.  But these episodes aren’t that big of a deal.  The average child in Pennsylvania also makes several escape attempts every year, and over of the kids bite their parents.

I have made my own prediction.  I walked out of my house today and saw my shadow.

I predict 6 more weeks of this particular PETA nonsense.

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A Shiba Inu dog.

A Shiba Inu dog.

Here in the pet-friendly offices of The Curmudgeon, we are pissed off but not ballistic. This item is hot off the news wire, courtesy of the AP:

“BOULDER, Colo. (April 16) – Police say a Colorado woman wrapped her boyfriend’s dog in packing tape and stuck the animal upside down to a refrigerator because he wouldn’t get rid of it.”  I reacted to this disturbing and disagreeable news in my usual, self-controlled, dignified manner by saying WTF?  Huh?

Sorry, but I don’t cotton to nobody, no how, tapin’ no dog to the fridge.  Uh-uh.  I like dogs.  I like them a lot.  Now if it had been a cat that would be different. (Not really.  I have a cat and he’s a prick but he’s my prick.)  This begs two questions:  Why did Ms. Dumb ass tape a dog to the fridge and what kind of tape did she use?

Seems the dumb broad, one Abby Toll,  got into a fight with her boyfriend over the dog, which she wanted to get rid of and the boyfriend did not.  So, she did what any crazy woman would do: she got out the packing tape (I would have bet money on duct tape) and bound the legs, snout and tail of the dog, who was cleverly named Rex.  The canine was a Japanese breed called a Shiba Inu, which are apparantly calm, kind natured, and good with children and crazy chicks. And they ain’t scared of no packing tape.

The stupid Ho was charged with felony cruelty, drug possession and other counts.  She is currently free on $12,500 bond and has declined to comment when questioned by the Curmudgeon, but she did growl and then whimper, I swear.  I don’t like this “free” business.  Seem like at least they could tape her to the fridge to await trial.  The boyfriend was also charged, but only with a misdemeanor cruelty count, presumably for not stopping the pudding-brained woman from taping the dog to the Frigidaire in the first place.

At least Rex was saved.  He is now in an animal shelter and will be put up for adoption.  I hope they throw the doggy training manual at this chick.  I’ll tell you what, she should be sentenced to a year in the dog pound, forced to live in a tiny cage, and eat cut-rate dog food from a bowl.  It’s only fair.

So what’s the answer to the question, “Which one’s the bitch?”  Clearly Rex is a male and just as clearly, the dumb Ho is a bitch.  But you didn’t really need me to tell you that.

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