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Archive for September, 2010

Here in the offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, many of us have to endure hours of air travel across the globe as we rush off to cover presidential inaugurations and Kings being sceptered (or whatever the hell they call that when they do this thing and say, “Okay…Now you be da King!”  As far as I know, none of us have ever freaked out on a plane flying high in the sky and tried to beat a hasty exit. But now it has happened to someone who is not one of us.  She is a Playboy Centerfold.
It was aboard JetBlue Flight 522 on Thursday, in route to Newark to Orlando, when suddenly Playboy Playmate Tiffany Livingston freaked out, jumped up from her seat and frantically began trying to open the door of the plane.  It’s unclear at the time of this writing exactly what transpired at that moment, but we can imagine that the 200 male passengers on board ran to tackle her (and probably cop a feel.)
A source, unnamed of course, told The Curmudgeon that it was a bad case of high anxiety mixed with her neglecting to take her medication.  I don’t know.  It seems like a bad idea to step out of a plane at 35,000 feet unless you’re D.B.Cooper holding a satchel with a million bucks in it.  Back then, a million bucks was worth something.
“She said she’s gone through this before, but never this bad, and didn’t have…her medication,” a source told The Curmudgeon.
“[Livingston] has dealt with minor anxiety issues in the past, however has always maintained a high level of professionalism in the modeling business,” said Kathleen Longsderff, Agency Director at an agency that Livingston was with previously.
Longsderff, of New England Models Group continued, saying that Livingston “began modeling in New England and then traveled to Paris in 2008. She went on to successfully model in Barcelona, Tokyo, Hong Kong and Singapore.”
Livingston, from Merrimac, R.I., was taken by the Feds and placed under federal custody on Thursday, as reported by the New York Post. Charges are still pending.  I guess the charges would include Freaking Out in the 1st degree.
Before all you collectors of fine art go running to your stash of Playboys that you’re hiding from your wife, forget about it, unless you have the Singapore version, called VIP, from 2009.  In the mag she was described as “not just another pretty face.”  No, she’s not.  She’s a pretty bod too, and unfortunately, her head got the better of her this time.

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Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, the staff is multi-ethnic.  I, Crusty, am an Irish American for example (Gosh N Begorrah – which, by the way, is a phrase never uttered by a real Irishman.)  Other members of the staff include Asian, Polish, Scottish, Italian, and African American.  There are others, but I can’t remember what they are.  Not only do we see this blend of cultures here, but in businesses everywhere.  Throughout society, in fact.

I am thinking of this because of an article I read (which I read because I wrote it, and unlike some writers I know, I actually read the articles I write) entitled The Top Ten New Food Trends.  It’s a great series (if I do say so myself – and I do), but in particular I am interested in the article about the new ethnicity of food.  The article states that American Food is Now Ethnic.  The gist of it is that with all the diverse cultures now populating America, naturally our food has changed as each culture’s food influences each other.

Generally, “homogenized” is a word that is applied to various things in a derogatory fashion.  I gotta tell you, raw milk is delicious, but unless I personally know the cow that gave it to me, I’m a little wary of it.  I’d rather be safe than sour.  Homogenized is defined as A: To reduce to particles and disperse throughout a fluid, and B: To make uniform in consistency, especially to render (milk) uniform in consistency by emulsifying the fat content.

Is this such a bad thing when we apply the term to our culture and the people therein?  I think not.  As a race of people, we are mixing.  While many zealots call for the purity of the Caucasian race, I think a little mixed blood is good for a people, or often is.  I offer two examples to support this statement.

Moon Bloodgood - The fact proves the theory.

Consider the dog.  The four-legged kind.  On one hand you have purebreds and on theother, mutts.  It’s a well known fact that purebreds carry with their breeds a myriad of health problems, and mutts, not so much.  Before you judge that as a weak argument (dammit, the white race is not inbred, you cry), ask yourself why you are attracted to foreigners?  Aren’t you?  A foreign accent can make me swoon, and the reason is this:  it is a deeply ingrained species survival instinct.  Spread the semen around.  Give you eggs to someone who will help your line survive.  They’re from far away so you are not likely to share their blood.

Secondly, some offspring of mixed race couplings are stunningly beautiful.  First of all, I want to say that there are beautiful women from most cultures (and I’m sure for you ladies, some dudes too), but when you combine a race with Caucasian, look out.  I wonder if to a Japanese person a Caucasian looks better if they also have some Japanese blood.  I suspect that’s true, and the same for other races.  Halle Berry, anyone?  Think of it as blending two types of grapes and making a stunning blended wine.  The combination of the two produces a much better result than each grape would have on its own.

Share a glass of wine with the mixed-race person of your choice tonight.  Or just a person of a different race.  If you drink enough wine, maybe you’ll make your own fine vintage.

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