Posted in Crazy Culture, Pusilanimous Politics, tagged catapult, competition, Egg throwing, eggs, England, Germany, gravy wrestling, human target, humor, medieval, siege machine, sports, the crusty curmudgeon on June 27, 2010|
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Here in the athletic offices of The Curmudgeon, many of the office staff are engaged in sports. It is unlikely that anyone is good enough to compete professionally, including yours truly, Crusty. But now an event comes in which even I might compete.
The event takes place in Swaton England. This is the sixth time the event has taken place and includes athletes from many countries, meticulously trained, of incredible strength and agility, their bodies fine-honed to perfection, the very essence of superhuman musculature, intelligence, and virility. England and Germany are expected to draw the most attention, their fierce rivalry stretching back to World War II. The competition? Egg throwing. That’s right. Tossing the little white orbs that come from chickens and taste delicious.
Other teams represent the Dutch, Americans, and Welsh persons. The most extreme competition involve a medieval siege machine resembling a catapult called a trebechet. Teams launch their eggs at a human target 390ft (120m) away at speeds of 100mph (161kph). The human target is himself an accomplished athlete, superior to other humans, Joel Hicks, the world gravy wrestling champion. He won his title in Lancashire by overcoming his opponent in a 200-litre vat of chicken gravy.
- The egg throwing event involves a two-person team throwing a raw egg between them as far as possible without breaking it.
- The static egg relay involves 11-person teams passing a dozen raw eggs from person to person along a 100m route.
- The egg target throwing event involves a human target and points are awarded for distance and accuracy.
- The eggs shot from the trebuchet can travel at speeds of 100mph (161kph) and points are awarded for hitting a human target.
Safety is taken very seriously. Competitors wear eye protection and an orange cape. It’s not all just serious competition. Proceeds go to Leukemia Research, Lincolnshire Air Ambulance and other charities.
(Some information for this story came from BBC news.)
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Posted in Crazy Culture, tagged Chyna Whyne, college course, funny, high heels, how to wear high heels, London, news of the weird, Reggae, Sexy, teenage girls, the crusty curmudgeon, western culture on June 10, 2010|
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Here in the highly fashionable offices of The Curmudgeon, we have an open dress policy. Not just casual Fridays, but casual everyday of the week if you feel like it, or dress up big time if that floats your boat. Without exception, the ladies wear comfortable shoes, some even wearing tennis shoes, which is what I wear so how could I expect different from an employees? Oh, sometimes the ladies dress up in high-heels and whatnot at the end of the day when they’re heading out for a date, or whatever it is they do out there in the cruel world, and I must confess that they look hot in those 4 inch pumps, but all day long? Never.
That is why the following story caught my interest: In the UK, teenage girls are being taught how to wear high-heels in a college government funded course. The 6-week course is called Sexy Heels In The City and costs L150 ($268.02) at London’s South Thames College. Oh, and the class also gives lessons on how to carry designer handbags. Well, of course it does!
According to instructor Chyna Whyne – a Jamaican London gal who writes, composes, and cut’s albums in a sort of Reggae Pop style , “At some point, girls from the age of 15 upwards will start wanting to wear high heels,” she said. “The earlier younger ladies learn how to walk in heels, the better it’s going to be in the long run – with business and social lives.” Okay…sure. Just Google her name and you’ll get some songs and videos you can listen to. She’s legit.
My guess is if this class is successful there will be others. Coming next will be Styling You Own Hair to Make Men Hot, Make-Up Secrets, and A Real Woman Has Long Nails. Then the graduate course, How to Drive Your Man Crazy in Bed. I can’t imagine what that one will be about. How to snore maybe? That would drive me crazy.
I think it’s a great idea. Let’s doll the little ladies up so they can make our tongues wag. It’s about time we encouraged women to be real women again. No more of this butch stuff. Teach ’em to wiggle when they walk and stick their chests out. (Oh, I’m gonna hear about this!) I wonder if this course could ever happen in the U.S.?
Somehow, I don’t think so. Oh well. As Aerosmith said:
Walk This Way
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