Here in the open offices of The Curmudgeon, employees are free to go and come at their convenience, though I’m sure they feel incarcerated due to my strict adherence to deadlines. I don’t know what they have to complain about. Even when they are locked in their offices working furiously, they are still allowed to fiddle around on Facebook and Twitter like little bored birdies. The same is true of an underworld Godfather (as in criminal; as in Marlin Brando) incarcerated in the U.K.
Colin Gunn continues to run his criminal empire from prison, thanks to prison official’s permission (he says; they deny) to use the site to communicate with family and friends, of which he has 565. I can see his friend requests now; “I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse…friend me or say goodbye.”
The appropriately named Gunn is one bad dude known for ordering the murder or beatings of anyone who crossed him…or their relatives. During his reign in Nottingham, it was known as “Assassination City.” Gunn’s postings were often threatening. In one post he said, “I will be home one day and I can’t wait to look into certain people’s eyes and see the fear of me being there.”
In another message he wrote: “It’s good to have an outlet to let you know how I am, some of you will be in for a good slagging, some have let me down badly, and will be named and shamed, F$&%!#@ rats.” (It is not known whether Gunn used the symbols to represent letters or the letters themselves, but ever since his momma friended him he’s been watching his language.) He was apparently able to update his info on a daily basis, so it’s not surprising that the updates and messages largely consisted of threats. I mean, how many times can you write, “Chipped beef again! Uggg.”
Naturally, when London’s The Sunday Times exposed the site, it was shut down, another example of the press doing what they are supposed to be doing. As for Facebook, I think they should sue for prisoners rights to use the social network. It could be great for business. Look at all the free publicity it would generate.
And then they can dump that stupid slogan: “Facebook is a social utility that connects you with the people around you” How boring is that? Put a little zip into it.
“Facebook. Keeps You in the Game of Life…or Not.”