We try to keep things positive here in The Curmudgeon offices and grousing, bellyaching, moaning, griping, sniveling, carping, bitching, grumbling, and whining are frowned upon and strictly forbidden. After all, that’s my job. When someone breaks this directive I just want to get rid of them. But I have money invested in these people with training and education, like teaching them how to construct a sentence or spell. Hence, I am stuck with the misanthrope. But not any more, since this conundrum has been solved by a 10-year old schoolgirl.
Zoe Pemberton from Clacton in Essex was visiting her father and grandmother when granny’s moaning began to irritate the little girl. What to do, what to do? But then the little entrepreneur had a stroke of genius. She would sell the old bag…er…her dear old grandmother on eBay. She wrote up the listing which described the pensioner as “rare and annoying and moaning a lot.” But she also said she was “very cuddly,” and added that she loved word searches and enjoyed drinking tea.
It was a cute little stunt, not to be taken seriously, except that it attracted bids – 17 of them – totaling more than $3,500. When asked why she would do such a thing to her dear, old grandma, the little girl replied, “Well, she was annoying me. She was moaning at me when I wrote down that her favorite food was curry — she said could I change it to Chinese. Apart from that she didn’t seem to mind.”
Of course the auction eventually came to eBays attention. “While no doubt Mrs Goodall would have fetched a princely sum, eBay does not allow the listing of any human being on the site,” said an eBay spokesperson. Don’t I know it. They put the kibosh on me when I was winning the auction for that stripper.
“Mind you, we were impressed to see a total of 27 bids for the lady in question,” the eBay spokesperson said.
Okay, so you can’t sell humans on eBay.
I wonder if I could auction off my cat.
(Information and quotes from foxnews.com, whom I am loath to mention, but rules is rules.)