Here in the timely offices of The Curmudgeon, we, meaning myself and the staff, are a time conscious bunch. Not to imply we are slaves to the clock, but I’m pretty sure everyone wears a watch of differing style, expense, and taste. I’m also pretty sure that no one here owns a Rolex, unless you count Bennie in accounting who wears a fake one. I know because the second hand moves tick, tick, tick, one second at a time, herky jerky, instead a smooth, fluid glide around the entire face without stopping. Besides, I don’t pay anyone enough for that kind of vanity.
And yet people covet them, Rolex watches that is. Corporations give them to lifelong employees (or they used to – back when they cared about lifelong employees); people save and spend their life savings on them; and enterprising chicks pick-up lonely men in hotel bars and go their room where the guy later wakes up druggy, handcuffed to the bedposts and minus his Rolex. But this is the first I’ve heard of a doctor letting a guy croak so he could steal his fancy, smancy Rolls Royce of timepieces.
That’s the allegation anyway, by the dead guys family and as reported by Sfweekly.com. The lawsuit says Doctor No stopped trying to save the dudes life so he could help himself to the man’s Rolex…after he went to great beyond. After all, dead men don’t talk. And whats he need a watch for anyway…where he’s going?
The dumbass doctor is one James Enmon of Hermosa Beach, California, and is now facing the wrongful death lawsuit and grand theft charges as well. To top it off, the hospital tried to cover it up. I mean, really, how embarrassing for them. Thing is, the nurses noticed the missing Rolex, and then noticed the watch-shaped bulge in the Doc’s pants. Busted. Is that a Rolex in your pants or is your dick on a timer?
And don’t you think most of the family members had their eye on the extravagant bauble? Not to cast dispersions on them, I’m just sayin’. I mean, I would. Wouldn’t you?
What can you say about something like this? That the guy is despicable? Yes. That he is arrogant? Yes. That he’s an asshole, mo fo, shit head? Yes, yes, and yes. Hippocrates is rolling in his tomb. Part of the Hippocratic oath says, “But it may also be within my power to take a life; this awesome responsibility must be faced with great humbleness and awareness of my own frailty. Above all, I must not play at God.” Unless the corpse is sporting a Rolex and I covet it. Of course, in Hippocrates day it was a sundial, not a Rolex.
I think Dr. Evil is going to go down for his alleged crime. (I love this alleged business: The alleged perpetrator was captured on video stabbing the victim 37 times. Alleged? Is the vic allegedly dead?
Here is why he will pay: The corpse was a retired cop. You know, when you screw with a cop, the living cops get all pissy and grouchy and come after you with everything they got. It is curious how a retired police officer came to own a $27,000 dollar watch, but that’s not the point. The point is the quack is a thief, and that’s the least of it.
And he still doesn’t have his precious Rolex.
The Rolex ticks for thee, doc.