Here in he tipsy but not inebriated offices of the Curmudgeon, we are no stranger to hangovers. Right now, we imagine Lindsay Lohan has a big one. Firstly, I have often growled to the staff here that “It will be a cold day in hell before we write about Lohan,” so put on your overcoats and mittens as we join Lindsay on her fun-filled career spiral downtown.
When “The Hangover” script made the rounds in Hollywood, some saw it’s potential as a big film. Lohan’s agents was one of them, and he campaigned for Lohan to get the role of the stripper ‘Jade’. “The Hangover” director Todd Phillips was not enthused by the prospect, but the mutual agent, being a good one apparently – down boy, down – didn’t give up. He hemmed and hawed and cajoled and sent the director a stripper in a cake for all I know, until director Phillips finally agreed.
So, triumphantly, the agent presents the script to Lohan who, full of gratitude for getting her such a great part in such a great film when hardly anybody else will touch her, said to the agent, no. Whaaaa????? She didn’t see the film’s potential and she just didn’t like the script. After all, this was no Herbie Goes Homo.
Instead Lohan opted to do “Labor Pains,” a straight to DVD dog, while “The Hangover” is a bonerfide boffo box office bonanza. Probably thanks in large part to Lohan not being in it. Instead the role went to Heather Graham. And the Curmudgeon loves him some Heather Graham crackers.
I am happy to see Lohan fading away. I’m sick of her dramatics. Graham on the other hand, is a delight in every way. She is so special I think she was made by Keebler elves.
To further view Lohan’s drive into oblivion, check out her movie next summer: Herbie Goes To Hell in a Handbasket.
(With apologies for use of “Homo.” I, in no way, mean to disparage homosexuals. People should be free to make their own choices. Long live tolerance!)