Here in my opulent office in the sprawling world headquarters of The Crusty Curmudgeon on the coast of Maui (yes, we’ve moved), I can look out my picture window and see the dolphins playing in the lagoon. On the wall is my 108 inch flat screen TV so I can see each and every flaw on the faces of your favorite stars. It’s one of those “Mine is bigger than yours” things. Right now, however, the TV is the source of my extreme consternation.
Hot off the wire is this AP story about televisions suddenly igniting in Zurich Switzerland. This is frightening, and certainly my rather large, too-bad-I-don’t-have-a-penis television would make a flame that would be the envy of Hades.
Early this morning, and elderly woman called police and firefighters to report that her television set was burning. Cruisers were dispatched. Sirens sounded and the fire engines roared to life and rushed to the scene of the conflagration.
Upon arriving at the scene, they found no signs of smoke, but the television did appear to be burning. It was a flame like they had never seen before, and clearly it would call for some different way to extinguish it, not the normal method by water hose or shooting fire-smothering chemicals at it from an extinguisher. One firefighter had an idea brilliant in it’s simplicity: He changed the channel. That’s right, he switched the channel and the fire was gone.
The Dear had tuned the TV to a German station that in the early morning hours aired the constant image of a burning fireplace.
And that’s my cute story for the week. Have a happy 4th of July, and try not to start any fires…imaginary or otherwise.