Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, we can be rather easy to please on occasion, which is why we’re happy to see the official White House portrait of Bo, the Obama Portuguese Water dog, released to the press. Fuzzy press releases from the occupants of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue are nothing new, but Bo’s picture is: Never before has a U.S. First Dog been asked to sit (and stay) for an official photograph.
After the photo session, Bo took questions from the assembled reporters. When asked about the economy, Bo said, “Clearly, the cost of dog biscuits has risen substantially, and in a country such as the United States of America, no dog should go hungry, especially puppies. We have offered Ralston Purina a 1 Billion bailout. They are expected to accept the offer and make dog biscuits more available for those canines in need.” The first dog also spoke on education reform: “There has been too much emphasis on sit, stay, play dead, and shake hands. I think there needs to be more attention paid to the classics such as “A Dog’s Tale” by Twain and Jack London’s “Call of the Wild.”
When asked to comment on the Kittykat war, the first dog spoke passionately on the subject: “The ongoing war between cats and dogs has been around since time immemorialrial, and it’s time it stopped. Can’t we all just get along? I am sending in 200,000 more critter catchers to round up the insurgents, and the captives will undergo extensive….um….personality re-education. ”
When asked to comment on reports that he had humped the leg of the First Lady, Michelle Obama, Bo appeared to blush, and then said abruptly, “No comment. This press conference is over.” He then bound away towards the white house with secret service agents running behind.
Happy Father’s Day!