Here in the well-stocked offices of the Curmudgeon, we are often a bit tipsy but never snonkered, and so find today’s story particularly amusing. Never mind that the pickled person was an attorney – that makes it as sweet as a shot of peppermint schnapps.
According to the AP, Larry Wilder, an Indiana lawyer and attorney for the Jeffersonville City Council went out with friends for dinner and drinks, was driven home in a clients limousine, and doesn’t remember what happened after that. Ah, the memories, or rather, the lack of memories. The Curmudgeon doesn’t drink like that any longer, but in his past he did acquire the nickname “Captain Wonder,” as in, “I wonder what the hell I did last night?” Good times.
A neighbor found the looped lawyer head first in the rubbish bin the next morning and called the cops. He was cooperative though and no charges were filed since there was no crime. If it had been you or I, there would have been charges. Public drunkenness or vagrancy or something – anything – to make our lives just a little more miserable. Can they charge you for “bin” drinking? He does have to explain his actions to the City Council though, and that is going to be mighty uncomfortable – or so I’ve been told.
Out With the Trash
It’s de rigeur to trash lawyers, and it’s not completely unfounded. After all, they can do some pretty slimy things. Plus it’s aggravating when you know they created this whole complicated legal thing which only they can navigate through, that they have purposefully made it complicated, and have thereby insured their future employment, and they got it all turned into law! So when you need one, you need one bad and you just hope he’s a little slimy. Otherwise, you’re screwed.
Attorney Wilder is not commenting on the matter following the advice of his bums.
So the next time you find yourself magoogled, I hope you find your way back to your nice, warm, comfortable bed. Otherwise you may find yourself sleeping with the fishes.
Or at least the fish leftovers from somebody’s dinner.