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Archive for June 18th, 2009

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Here in the seasonal offices of The Curmudgeon, things are very scenic.  And I’m not just referring to being on Puget Sound (if that’s where we are…I forget,)  but to the indoor attractions as well.  Things bloom in spring and people dress for the weather, and as the heat goes up so do the skirts.  Even mannequins dress for the weather.

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

That’s what happened when a female mannequin was placed outside of a Barbecue establishment in Ohio.  As reported by David Goguen of the Cincinnati Enquirer, the owner of the store placed the mannequin outside as a promotion and appropriately named her BarBe.  She was wearing just a bikini top and Daisy Dukes.  She is a rather attractive mannequin.

“Oh, Lordy, Lordy,” exclaimed the fine citizens.  She was way too

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

“naughty” for their tastes.  So they made a stink about it, but heck, the business at the restaurant is up 40 percent since BarBe started working there, drawing in the customers.  In an interview with the paper,  he “showed off the catalog he picked her out from, saying “She’s got big boobs. That’s why I bought her.”  Oh, Romeo, Romeo.

The locals don’t want the hussy hangin’ out on the street, so they’ll say anything as a reason to get rid of her.   She was declared as “signage” and required a special permit to strut her stuff.  One local told the Enquirer that the sign actually draws “people who are looking for sex.” Woah.

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer

Really?  I wonder if she takes monopoly money?  I guess since there are no actual women available, a meat sandwich will work just fine.  You know…one or the other.

So the store owner put more clothes on BarBe and took her to the Design Review Board.  Barbie, they ruled, could stay – providing she puts her darn clothes on.  So she did.  No word on whether customer numbers or up or down now that BarBe isn’t showing off her unnatural charm and beauty, but I’ll bet the national publicity isn’t hurting.

The owner wasn’t happy with the decision, venting to the Enquirer that BarBe “should be allowed to wear what she wants.”

I think they should just leave BarBe alone.  She is kind of hawt.

I suddenly have a craving for some barbeque.

(Photo credit: All photos by Michael E. Keating, The Cincinnati Enquirer)

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Shaker Heights High School Yearbook

Shaker Heights High School Yearbook

Here in the Curmudgeon Offices we are practical jokers.  We are also big fans of subliminal stuff, like the naked woman hidden on the pack of Camel cigs.  If you combine practical joking with subliminal, we are ecstatic.  When you consider the story of the high school kid who hid the F-word on his school’s yearbook, it fits all the criteria.

An art student in a fancy Cleveland suburb drew a modern interpretation of the school’s “Red Raider” mascot.  Turns out if you hold the book upside down then there it is…the “F” bomb, cleverly hidden in a throng of what appears to be people.

The writing "F*** Yawl"

The writing "F*** Yawl"

It wasn’t long before the word was noticed and then the hub bub begin.  Parents thought it was awful…the kids thought it was funny.  Now the school is putting out a new version with the profanity obscured.  Yeah, good luck getting my copy back.  The art student has already graduated but was brow beaten into making the following apology”

“I cannot begin to explain the miserable feeling I brought upon myself when I betrayed the trust of all of you,” the student wrote, according to a report in the news site Cleveland.com.

Aw, kid.  You disappoint me, but I can see how you felt you had no choice.  It’s the politically correct thing to do.  You pulled off a world-class stunt and got away scot free.  You have a future, son.  Here’s what gets me: the word is not so easy to see.  When you look for yourselves, look for the words “f*** yall.”  I think you have to really, really look for it, so I’m thinking he himself told others about the prank, otherwise, where’s the glory?

I think you really do have a future, kid.

Have you ever thought of politics?

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