Again, across my large but not gargantuan desk here at The Curmudgeon, yet another news item about a man in sexy women’s clothing has caught my attention. By sexy, I mean if the clothing were being worn by a woman and not that the guy looks “sexy” in women’s clothing, but maybe to some, he does. How the heck should I know. What I do know is that there must be something in the water since we just recently reported on the “Burglar In Women’s Thong Panties Arrested.”
Today’s “I Feel Pretty” story comes from the Dayton Daily News as reported by writer Lou Grieco. It seems a man wearing a green or blue one-piece swimming suit – well thank heavens it’s a one-piece; he would look ridiculous in a bikini – is accosting women on a stretch of road that runs “along the Little Miami River, and some of the reports have come from women who are canoing down the river.”
Here is his diabolical M.O.: He runs out of the woods straight at his female victims, asks them how he looks, and then turns and runs back into the woods. Seriously. I wish I got aroused so easily. As silly as all this is, I wonder exactly what the police intend to do about it? It isn’t a crime, is it?
Maybe the police department recognizes behavior that seems harmless now but could escalate into something dangerous. Like he could graduate to asking “Did you notice my hair?” Or when he really becomes depraved, “Does my butt look big in this?” I’d be frightened too.
These stories are becoming so prevalent that I’m wondering if I missed something. Is men wearing women’s sexy clothing the new thing? Am I supposed to be wearing panties, stockings and a bustier? I still don’t get it and I wouldn’t wear this stuff for money. Well…maybe for money. A lot of money.
How much were you offering?
UPDATE: Police have apprehended the “Swimsuit Harasser.” To see the video tape of him being arrested, go here.