Archive for May 30th, 2009

This is what a thong is supposed to look like.

This is what a thong is supposed to look like.

Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, the men dress well – sexy even – but none of us are wearing thong panties under our pants.  At least I don’t think so, though I do worry about that French guy, Jaques, down the hall.  No, I’m a boxer kind of guy, but I can’t speak for the rest of the staff.  That’s why I am tickled (so to speak) by men who wear women’s sexy underthingies.  Sure, it feels all soft and luxurious on your skin and gives you a raging h….um…but how would I know?  I don’t, I tell ya, I don’t, but I can imagine the silky smoothness as it gently…oh…ahem.  Anyway…

That’s why I’m chuckling today over a story on WSMV.com, because wearing women’s thong panties is one thing, but burglarizing a house wearing nothing but is something else entirely.  It got all freaky in Andersonville, Tennessee when cops arrived at a burglary in process.  The scantily clad, gender-confused burglar heard the cops arrive and jumped out a second story window.  Have you ever jumped out of a 2nd story window wearing 5 inch heels?  Hurts like hell.  Anyway, cops followed footprints from the house to an abandoned farm next door.  There they found 42 year old Larry Moore wearing the thong in question.

For the life of me I can’t figure out what motivates a guy to do this, unless the excitement of burglary had become passé , and dressing up in women’s panties had also begun to bore him.  He just wasn’t getting the thrill to which he had grown accustomed.  Then one day he said to himself, “I know!  I’ll wear a thong- I think that frilly pink number – and burglarize a house!”

I can see him now prancing around the scene of the crime while singing “I Feel Pretty.”  No word on what he was stealing.  Probably more panties because, gosh, it’s just so embarrassing to buy them at Walmart.  And heaven knows, Larry Moore wouldn’t want to be embarrassed.   Nope, ole Larry Moore of Andersonville, Tennessee was never one for embarrassment.

I don’t have anything against guys who wear panties.  I think it’s kind of funny and as I’ve always said, whatever raises your flag as long as you hurt no one and there aren’t any children involved.  But burglarizing a home ain’t right.  Somebody worked hard to afford those panties which you so cavalierly just sashay into their home and take them, Mr. Larry Moore of Andersonville, Tennessee.

A fund has been started for Larry to help him while he is in jail.

Send your used panties to Anderson County Detention Facility to help him pass the time.  Remember though, he’s jaded so make them crotchless for that extra oomph.

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