Here in the Curmudgeon offices, seekers but not preachers, we are as susceptible to those email jokes that go round and round and on their “routerly way,” and I can say that some are funnier than others. The one about the “Church Sign” debate on whether or not dogs went to heaven, to whether or not dogs have souls, was at least highly amusing, if not slap-your-thigh-spit-up-your-soda funny. The Catholic church says yes while the Presbyterians say no. I say to them, “have you ever had a dog?”
The humorous drama played out in a series of “church signs.”
A fairly funny theological battle of the religious wits (or nit wits.) Since our research department has been out of the office for….oh…4 months now, I am reduced to doing the research, which means research is flawed. That is to say, the research sucks. But here is what I did: I first looked up “Cumberland Presbyterian Church” and learned that Cumberland is a kind of Presbyterian church and there are many buildings across the country that are called this. So too are there several “Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic” churches.” I was unable to prove if two of these existed in the same southern town.
So then I studied the pictures. Each picture is the exact same angle with the exact same shadows. Quite simply…impossible. They are fake. One picture of each church sign was photographed and the letters added later, probably with a simple “Church Sign Generator” on the Internet. So why write this? Because I did all this crappy research and I gotta use it somewhere. Plus, I think it is worthwhile to discuss whether or not dogs have souls and go to heaven. Another interesting question is why we find this sort of bickering amongst churches so likely?
Of course they do. They smile. They save your life. If you were to die in your home and not be discovered right away, your dog would guard you. Conversely, your cat will eat you, ergo, cats do not have souls or go to heaven. (Just kidding. Cats do have souls, their’s are just dirty, rotten souls.)
But you don’t have to take my word for it.
During an interview for the Denver Post, animal behaviorist Marc Bekoff, professor emeritus at the University of Colorado, Boulder, said “If we have souls, our animals have souls. If we have free choice, they have it,” Bekoff said. “If we can’t know this for sure, let’s give them the benefit of a doubt.”
I may be a Curmudgeon emeritus, but that guy is a professor emeritus. I’ll take his word for it, not that I need to. Like I said, if you’ve ever had a dog, you know.
Besides, dog spelled backwards is God.