Here in The Curmudgeon offices we are currently amused but skeptical. Sometimes, in my never-ending quest searching for what is new, different, and hopefully perverted, I came across this entry in the Urban Dictionary:
Glomosexual: a girl who uses glowsticks as a dildo. “Alicia got off whenever she looked at a glowstick, because she was a glomosexual.”
I kid you not. But is it real? Or is somebody pulling our collective glowsticks?
Now, I like the Urban Dictionary, but it must be taken with a grain of salt and a dash of humor. Like Wikipedia, it is written by common folk, and what you read there isn’t necessarily the truth. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t lots of truth there, just that you have to decide what is real and what is a joke. The Urban Dictionary can be very beneficial when you come across some slang you are unfamiliar with or one of those stupid LOL acronyms everyone uses now-a-days.
Just recently I looked up ROFLSCOMN, which translates to “rolling on floor laughing while spewing coke out my nose.” Ok, it doesn’t. I made that up, but I would appreciate if everyone started using it and let’s see if we can start a thing.
So let us examine this word, glowmosexual. We see under the definition that it was submitted by one Alicia Morgan. So we click on her name and it takes us to her other entries. They are:
Snowmosexual: Somebody who has sex with snowmen: “Alicia thrust the snowman’s icicle deep inside of herself in an act of snowmosexual intercourse.”
Debtorosexual: Someone who gets off on forcing people that owe them money to do sexual favors for them. “Alicia’s tenants owed her some back rent money, so she forced them to have debtorosexual group sex with her in order to pay it off.”
I found no other places which described or even used the word glomosexual that weren’t directly related to the Urban Dictionary. I think we can know assume it is not a real slang word, but one clearly coined by Ms. Morgan.
Does this anger me? No. It does not. It doesn’t piss me off because it’s funny. As for the possibility of using a glowstick for masturbation, so what? They have dildo’s that glow in the dark already. I have heard of women using a zucchini. Whatever yens your yang is my motto. I think Ms. Morgan (or whatever her real name is) would make a great date. She is one funny chick. We could discuss my new word: Slowmosexual: One who records themselves having sex and then plays it back in slow motion, thereby making it appear as though they actually lasted more that 30 seconds.
If anyone knows Alicia Morgan have her give me a call. Whatever yens your yang, baby!