Here in the heavenly but not necessarily empyrean offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, I stand (or sit, actually) before you, humbled if not exactly compunctious. I am abashed and I do not like feeling abashed. No, I like feeling smug and superior. I mean, who doesn’t? I wear smugness like a warm blanket on a cabin-chilly morning. You are asking, “Crusty,” you say, “why are you, one who is almost always correct, feeling contrite?” It is this: Simply put, I have long been a naysayer of the alleged mysticism of Astrology and now I am a believer. (Ouch! That hurt!)
I was never a total disbeliever in astrology, just a skeptic. After all, there is such a thing as planetary movement, tides, strange human behavior, and a myriad of other unexplained phenomena. Not to mention the belief in Astrology by many famous and powerful people throughout the history of the world.
Famous Followers of the Planetary Arts
Many of the rich, famous, and powerful have believed in Astrology and put it to use. These include Plato, Albert Einstein, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Robert Heinlein, Hippocrates, DH Lawrence, Louis Pasteur, and even Benjamin Franklin, who included Astrology in his Poor Richard Almanacs.
Henry V always had court astrologers who, if they predicted the King would sire a girl, were beheaded. Naturally, the Astrologers learned to always say the child would be a boy and if it turned out to be a girl, they were beheaded anyway. Tough gig. Heads did roll. Upon hearing that Hitler employed the use of Astrologers, Winston Churchill employed one as well. Shakespeare drew greatly on Astrology in his plays. “He would put astrological knowledge and belief into his strongest and most capable heroes and heroines, and astrological ignorance and disdain into his most devious and reviled villains.” (theastrologyroom.com).
Astrology Smacks My Gob
So, what changed my mind? Simple. I got a reading. A real one from a real Astrologer, and I was amazed at its accuracy. Stunned, really. Gobsmacked. It contained such depth and knowledge that I was blown into the heavens. Not only did I get a one on one, 2 hour consultation, but a lengthy and informative chart and an analysis. There was not one item I could deny, and it was not general either. Very specific, and taken all together, very specific to me and me alone. Another great thing about it was that it offered ideas on things that could develop into problems or things you should focus on for self-improvement. Again, I found everything was on the money.
The good news is that all this – the 2 hour, one-on-one consultation; the lengthy and in-depth chart; and the personal analysis of it – cost a mere 140 Australian dollars (97.94 US dollars; 68.55 British pounds). Even better news is you can avail yourself of my very Astrologer’s services as well. This is surely the deal of the century thanks to the weak Australian dollar.
Let Astrology Gob Smack You
If you are interested (and you should be) I urge you to contact Julie Braden. Please write to her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Tell her The Crusty Curmudgeon sent you. You wont regret it. The initial 2 hour interview and reading is conducted via Skype, so there are no phone charges. If you don’t have Skype, it is simple and free to set up and use to call people all over the world. For an overview of Skype, go here.
Do this. You owe it to your career, your business, your relationships, and yourself. Mostly perhaps, you owe it to your future. Don’t get me wrong. You’re not going to be told if you’re going to get married this year or that you will meet a tall, dark handsome stranger. I said Julie’s a real Astrologer. If you want that kind of Astrology, read the paper or go down to the strip and hand your 50 bucks to the gypsy lady with the neon sign in her window. This is the real stuff…not predictions. It’s beautiful up here…in the heavens. Join me.
(Photo Credit: “Cosmic Hand”, h.koppdelaney, flickr, http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=Astrology&l=cc&ct=0&page=2)