Nothing perks us up here in the delightfully comfortable but not inappropriate Curmudgeon offices than really stupid things. Especially when said stupid things involve literature since, like 99.9% of all web writers, all of us here are working on our first novels, sure to be published by Random House or Farrar Straus Giroux and make us independently wealthy.
And so it was that we all got a little holiday cheer when we came across the world’s worst book titles for this year as judged by the Atlanta Journal Constitution, causing us to hit the bar earlier than usual and have a good laugh which does a body good—better than milk (but maybe not better than milk with a shot of brandy in it). Some people are either really funny or really stupid and I, for one, always assume it is the latter.
First for the honorable mentions, and let me point out that any of these books—and yes, they are real–would make excellent Christmas gifts:
“Letting It Go: a History of American Incontinence.” No shit (excuse me but I couldn’t resist). Well, it certainly is a descriptive title, and no doubt plunges to the bottom of this unrestrained topic. Great bathroom reading!
“Everything You’ll Need to Remember About Alzheimer’s.” I’d like to give you the full review of this memorable book, but they never sent me my review copy. Or did they? I don’t think so. I check the…um…the outside box thing…that the people in the little trucks put…uh…that stuff into…er…those things with the sticker and some handwriting on them.
And finally, the 2008 winner, published by Disney:
“Cooking with Pooh.” This is a delightful cooking book for children, and they can make their own ingredients. Written with great fecundity, it comes with the free pamphlet, “E Coli: Fun with Bacteria.” (Editors note: Not a real title.)
So if you have some loved ones still on your Christmas list, go by your local bookstore and pick up a few of these timeless tomes. They’re sure to delight even the most discerning of your re-gifters. And so friends, I’m on my way to the mega-bookstore to purchase these for my extensive library and immediate perusal–if only I can remember where it is.