Here in the secretive but not acronym-heavy offices of The Curmudgeon, we are having a good laugh over the list of the top 50 acronyms teens are using on the Internet and in text messages to keep their parents from knowing what they are talking about. While the list has been around for a couple of years, it is only now beginning to take on a life of it’s own in a meme kind of way. The problem is, it’s ridiculous.
The story was reported by Fox News (Oh, how it irritates me to reference Fox News) about just how absurd the list is. Turns out, most of the terms come from sex and bondage chat rooms, or are so outdated that no one knows what they mean anymore, or just plain made up. Of course, some of it can be useful, such as that 8 means oral sex (get it?) or that the acronym NIFOC means Naked In Front Of Computer (which I always thought meant Naked In Front Of Columbo, since I like to watch Columbo reruns while naked and visiting Internet Sex Chatrooms – but that’s another post.)
PC Magazine’s Sacha Sagan, as quoted by Fox, says, “I honestly have to say I have never seen most of these terms. It looks like a lot of them come from online sex chat rooms, and not just any chat rooms, but sadomasochistic ones.”
“I don’t know most of this stuff,” adds Jason Parks, a 21-year-old junior at Arizona State University. “My friends and I just looked at it, and we were cracking up.”
This list was released by NetLingo.com, who still insist that parents should be aware of these terms. Yeah. I think parents should be aware if their kids are hanging out in sex chat rooms. To their credit, NetLingo posted another list of the top 100 Acronyms, and this list is far more useful, both for parents, perverts, and old farts like me trying to follow what the kids are up to so I can tell you about it. You should check out The NetLingo List of Acronyms & Text Message Shorthand. Print it out, study it, and keep it as a handy reference. Of course, if you want to see the short, sex term list, you know, for a laugh, go here.
Which reminds me, I have a bone to pick with you (BTOPWY). In my post about Glomosexuals, I asked you kindly to assist me in starting our own acronym – ROFLSCOMN (Rolling On Floor Laughing Shooting Cola Out My Nose.) But kids, the acronym hasn’t taken off yet, which means you aren’t trying. I want you to use it every time you are tempted to write LOL or ROFL. Use it off-handedly, as though everyone knows what that means. They will ask you, you will tell them, and then they will use it, and their friends will use it, and before you know it, it will be a thing, and we will have started it.
Notice I have not linked to my Glomosexual hub. I don’t want you to read it. You’re not old enough or it’s too nasty for you. So I’m not linking it. Of course, you could enter the term Glomosexual into the search box and find it that way, but you didn’t think of that. Or you could just scroll down a few stories and there it is, but you don’t know that. No. Take my word for it, you are better off blissfully ignorant of Glomosexuals.
Just a brief wrap-up: Many kids will have acronyms that they have made up and are only known to them and their group. No list in the world is going to tell you what those mean. You’ll have to interrogate the little buggars (ITLB).
(Photo Credit, Computer Mice, by [rom], flickr)