Here in the health conscious offices of The Curmudgeon, we may partake in healthy eating practices, but we are not above a couple of Big Bufords from Rally’s or a bag of sliders—and plenty of ‘em—so it’s not odd to consider that a fellow may have met a woman in a White Castle. What is surprising, is this fellow went to White Castle to meet a hooker, and have an assignation in the bathroom. What a romantic spot for sex, eh?
You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. So this guy—William Ferris, obviously a handsome, adventurous guy—goes into the john with the hooker and she only kisses and performs oral sex on him. He thought he was going to get more than that, I mean, $50 bucks is worth the works, right? He was pissed off. So he did what any intelligent guy would do: He called 911 to report the crime of robbery.
No matter what you may think, cops aren’t dumb. The dude’s story isn’t making sense to the officers that responded to the scene. Wouldn’t you know it? He gets two “not dumb” cops who probably want to make detective. They question him. They grill him. They make him repeat his story a hundred times. They taunt him by swinging a Tak-Home-A-Sak in front of him, promising him all he can eat if only he’ll tell them the truth. Ferris can’t take the pressure and he confesses.
What a dumb ass. He was charged with solicitation and making a false police report. He was also warned that he will be charged with trespassing if he “returns to the White Castle on Harrison Avenue. Presumably, he can still meet hookers at the White Castle on Henry street.
White Castle doesn’t deliver. Neither does the hooker.
(This story appeared on TMZ.)