Here in the expressive but not loquacious offices of The Curmudgeon, we are trained professionals in the observance of females, not only of your typical “She’s hot!” variety but of women’s cultural issues as well, their fads, their interests, and their penchant for dressing funny. My normal position is, “What ever floats your boat.”
But the latest trend in female fashion that came to my attention doesn’t thrill me at all: the newest thing to hit the fashion world is shaved eyebrows. Not plucked eyebrows, not separation of the uni-brow, but honest-to-god-shaved-completely-off eyebrows. It’s the “no-brow” look. I shiver with crawling skin.
What you get when you shave a woman’s (or a man’s, for that matter) eyebrows is an alien. An expressionless alien, since eyebrows are
critical to most of our facial expressions. Put some clothes on them and stick them in the store window with a sale sign and you’ve got a living mannequin. But who is responsible for this outrage?
As usual, the fashion designers are to blame, who are well-known to shove their beauty corrupting ideas down the throats of women so they can sell more product. While model Kristin McMenamy has been sporting this look off and on since the early 90′s (she’s so maaaaaahhhhvelously edgy, don’t you think, love?), but the designers are now pushing the non-expressive, android look into the mainstream.
In the fall of 2009, Balenciaga and Prada pushed the look onto their runways, convincing even the top models to bleach their eyebrows so at least they’d look like they came from the planet Zoltran, causing the elite observers of fashion to – dare I say it – raise their eyebrows. Thankfully, they had some to raise. Next, Brazilian bombshell model Adriana Lima shaved hers for the Givenchy campaign. Now McMenamy is at it again on the August cover of Italian Vogue. Not that anyone cares what old Crusty thinks, but uugggh.
Will this horrid turn of style make it’s way into the mainstream? Let’s hope not. Call me old fashioned, but I like women to have eyebrows. Otherwise, I’m afraid to ask where they’re from. It just might be Zoltran. So ladies, trim, pluck, thicken, and all that voodoo that you do, but don’t shave your eyebrows.
Save us from the “nobrow.” That’s no way to express yourself.
SOURCES: Amid repeated claims that I have it wrong about women shaving their eyebrows, here is a list of some of my sources. Read them if you don’t believe me, and if you don’t believe them, then write to them and accuse them of being mistaken instead of me, Crusty, who is never wrong (except sometimes.)
According to the N.Y. Times, “The August issue of Vogue features an otherworldly Steven Klein shot of a model epilated above the eyes.” The article concludes, “Before shaving off both eyebrows, we suggest doing just one to see if it suits you.”
According to The Times Union/U.K., in an article titled, “New fashion trend: shaving off your eyebrows,” it is stated, “Women spend big money shaping and maintaining their brows. The latest trend, though, means no styling necessary — because you shave them right off.” (They use the exact picture as the top pic of this blog as an example.
blog.timesunion.com/…/new-fashion-trend-shaving-off-your-eyebrows/ – Cached – Similar)
From the Daily Mail/U.K., “…the Givenchy campaign have all had their brows bleached or even removed, creating a startling uniformity amid male and female faces.”