Here in the sleepy but not comatose offices of The Curmudgeon, I find myself happy that I dragged myself in on a Saturday. I have been following the rise in piracy for several years, since back when it was a hush hush topic nobody talked about. Information was more difficult to come by then, but now, every time you turn on the news there’s a new dramatic piracy story.
I have felt the frustration of the ships who are not allowed to carry weapons to defend themselves, and shared their outrage at the sheer audacity of the blackguards. And now, finally, the tables may be shifting. A Russian luxury yacht cruise company is offering “Pirate-Hunting” excursions.
I kid you not. The idea is that the luxury yacht – a favorite target for pirates – cruises from Djibouti to Mombasa Kenya at a very slow speed with the hope of attracting a team of scalawags. When the pirates try to take over the ship, they are in for a rude awakening. Each passenger will be armed with an AK-47 for an additional $17.50 per day on top of the $5000.00 cost of the ticket. And the accommodations are luxurious as well, all the way down to the origami towels in the staterooms. And should the passengers be outmatched by the pirates, not to worry: former Special Forces troops are on board for the passengers ultimate protection.
I love this idea and I don’t think I’m the only one. My instinct tells me they’ll be booked through next pirate-hunting season. In fact, I think I’ll go myself. It sounds like a jolly good time, with a little hunting in the morning followed by cocktails on the Lido Deck. Talking like a pirate and shoulder-sitting parrots are optional, but peg legs are complimentary.
But first, I’ll need some good traveler’s insurance.