Here in the snickering but not guffawing offices of The Curmudgeon, we are highly amused at the recent news that a Florida High School girl may have accidentally exposed herself in a yearbook group picture. Her mother is now demanding a recall of the books and a reprint, sans daughter’s naughty bits. The Curmudgeon scrounged hi and low, down back alleys and suburban homes, to get a copy of the picture that wasn’t blurred. We finally located a copy of the yearbook, stealthily photographed it with our spy camera, and present it here to you. As you can see, the girl clearly is showing her pussy.
Stop your sniggering. This is serious. It’s just like National Lampoon’s 1964 High School Yearbook parody, a classic of modern American humor. On the cover, a cheerleader has forgotten to wear her panties (or did it on purpose.) During my day, we called this shooting the beaver. One girl student said of the photo, “When I saw it, I kinda like, flipped out… I was like, oh my God, but I think, that she’s probably, like, horrified?” The flasher in question admits she did not wear underwear that day, but says it was because she didn’t want her panty lines to show. That would have been really embarrassing.
When asked if she had done it on purpose, the girl responded, “No. Absolutely not. It’s ridiculously embarrassing.” So much so that she hasn’t been back to school since the books were first handed out a week ago. As for her own reaction to the news that she had been exposed, she said, “I started crying and freaking out now that everyone knew..” Knew what? That she had a vagina?
Her mother wants to stop the yearbooks from being distributed, collect the ones already handed out, and reprint them without the photo’s. She said, “I don’t want anything out there with this photo in it, because it’s going to follow her.” What’s going to follow her? Her vagina?
Like the school has a chance in hell of getting all the books back, not to mention the cost of reprinting all those giant, picture-heavy books. The publisher isn’t going to do it for free. Oh sure, lady, we’ll just cancel the arts programs to get the money because your daughter decided to go commando.
A Hillsboro county spokeswoman doesn’t believe there is an exposure. “It’s a shadow,” she said. Granted, it’s a furry shadow, but still a shadow. The mother says it doesn’t matter if it’s a shadow or not, it’s still damaging to a 16 year old.
Okay. I feel a little sorry for the girl, but she’s sixteen and she chose not to wear panties. Stuff happens when you don’t wear panties. I should know. It’s interesting to note that during a CNN interview, the mother (who is no dainty flower) and the daughter both are wearing shorts that couldn’t possibly be shorter, crowding into their nether regions like Japanese in a subway car. You’d think for a television interview they might at least observe some semblance of decorum.
Nope. I can’t be on their side on this issue. In this crazy world of The Vagina Monologues, this is but a whisper.
Stop that sniggering.
If you would like to see the CNN video of this story, go here.
(NOTE: I do have a copy of the photo uncensored. Take my word for it, maybe it is and maybe it isn’t. I choose not to publish it.)